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I Resolve…

  • Posted on December 30, 2009 at 9:45 am

I took the picture on my last trip to the beach this past summer. This same bird met me every day and would stand on the same rock looking out to sea as if he were lost in his dreams...then he would walk away to go do his fishing. The last day I was there...he stood on that same rock...dreaming...turned and looked at me...and then flew away. It was beautiful. ღ

I Resolve…

To Love and be loved more.
To Smile and be smiled at more.
To Hug and be hugged more.
To Kiss and be kissed more.
To Live and just be more.
To Sing and be sang to more.
To Dance and be danced with more.
To Laugh and be laughed with more.
To Dream and be dreamed of more.
To Believe and be believed in more.
To Shine and be shined on more.
To Fly and…yeah…to Fly!

~D~

Photo:  I took this photo on my last trip to the beach this past summer.  This same egret met me every day and would stand on this same rock looking out to sea as if he were lost in his dreams.  Then, after a while,  he would walk away to go do his morning fishing.  The last day I was there, he stood on that same rock…dreaming…turned and looked at me…and then he flew away.  It was beautiful. ღ

Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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For Such a Time as This

  • Posted on December 27, 2009 at 9:11 pm

As the year 2009 comes to an end, it takes with it another decade. For me, it has been a decade of preparation, separation and illumination. I have always been a “seeker”, but I did not begin to actively seek MY truth until 1999. My life began to change immediately upon doing so. My career as a business executive abruptly ended, my daughter left home to attend college and my marriage began to fall apart. I also felt strongly that I should leave the organized church. Though I still held to the core Christian beliefs, I found the spirit of religion to be very stifling.

Much more happened in the years that followed, including the passing of my mother and the end of my 22 year marriage. Relationships with friends and family either ended or became strained. My life long dream of owning my own business was both realized and lost. However, during this time, I also experienced some of the most amazing miracles; miracles straight from the heart and hand of God. It was those miracles that kept me going. It was those miracles that made me believe I was on the right track. It was those miracles that eventually lead me to my truth.

197_9737 I Believe..This past year has been about letting go; letting go of everything and everyone that was keeping me from being who I really am. It has not been an easy thing for me to do. I held on tight to a lot of expectations, relationships and “safety nets” because they provided a type of comfort. But for me, it’s not about comfort…it never has been. It’s about following my heart…and my heart said “It’s time to let go.” I have felt the “sting” of all the letting go very strongly these past few days. My mind has wanted to take me back and each time my heart has pulled me forward. Following my heart hasn’t always been easy…but I have always known that it would not lead me astray.

And so, I sit here in my aloneness…which I have come to realize is actually an al-one-ness…and I wait with much excitement and anticipation for the new year to begin. The slate has been wiped clean for me…I have only my faith in the truth that I have found. I feel strongly that 2010 is the beginning of a new chapter in my life; a chapter of Love, Light and Life. I truly believe that I was born “for such a time as this.”

~D~

Photo: Sunrise ~ Palm Coast, FL ~ August 2009
Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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Our Little Christmas Tree

  • Posted on December 18, 2009 at 12:52 pm

It was December 1977.  My father had passed away in July of that year.  I was fifteen years old.  My sister was two years younger.   My twenty-two year old brother had taken on the role of “man of the house” and worked to help support our family.  My mother was severely depressed and stayed in bed most of the time.  Being raised in a southern Christian home, celebrating Christmas was something we did every year.  Though we were not “well off” by any stretch of the imagination, we did always manage to have a blessed Christmas.  There were never many gifts under the tree, but there was a lot of love shared. 

This particular Christmas was proving to be different, however.  There was no joy in our home.  It was a struggle for all of us to just make it thru the day.  Though we did love one another dearly, we seemed to all be in our own little world of self-preservation.  Each of us was dealing with the tragedy that had befallen our family in our own way.  The pain we were experiencing was not something we talked about much at all. 

I remember one day, just before Christmas, I went to my mother’s room and climbed into bed with her.  I asked when we were going to decorate and put up the tree.  She responded by saying that there would be no tree this year.  She just could not find it within herself to celebrate…anything. Tears began to stream down my face as I once again was reminded how our lives had changed. I don’t know how long I lay there next to my mother, but I do know that not another word was spoken during that time…only silent tears from both of us. 

At some point during the next few days, I got an idea.  Even though it really didn’t feel like Christmas…I did want a tree.  I knew there would be no gifts to put under it, but I still wanted to decorate.  When I think about it now, I guess I was looking for that lost joy…for that feeling of love that always came with that time of year.  I went to the garage, got my father’s old hand saw, convinced my sister to go with me and we headed for the woods.   We didn’t have to go far.  The woods around us were full of cedar trees.  We found one that we thought we could manage and before long we were dragging our Christmas tree out of the woods and up the street to our house.

When we finally managed to get the tree into the living room, we realized that it wasn’t as big as it had seemed in the woods.  It might actually have been the smallest tree we had ever had…but at least we were going to have a tree.  My brother helped us put the tree in the stand and made certain that it was safely secured and standing straight.  Then my sister and I went to the closets and gathered all the lights and decorations.  We worked for hours.  We even came up with a few “homemade” gifts to wrap and place under the tree.  When we were finished…it looked like Christmas.

I can’t remember everything about that Christmas morning.  I don’t know which of us kids got up first.  I can’t remember opening any of the gifts.  But what I do remember is that at some point during that morning, my mother got out of bed and came into the living room with us.  She sat down and looked around at the lights and the decorations.  She looked at our little tree and the gifts underneath… and then she smiled.  She told us how beautiful everything looked.  As I write this, I can once again feel the joy and love that I felt at that moment.

There have been many Christmas mornings to celebrate since that time.  I have experienced the joy of seeing my own child’s eyes filled with the excitement of the season.  I have felt the love that is Christmas many times as well.  This year, I will even have the privilege of watching my grandson as he experiences his first Christmas.  But, in my heart, none of these can compare to the love and joy that I felt as my family sat around our little tree on that Christmas morning all those many years ago.

~D~

Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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Christmas Eve, a Year Ago

  • Posted on December 15, 2009 at 9:17 am

This is a poem that my sister and I wrote when we were teenagers; she was fourteen, I was sixteen.  I ran across it recently while going thru a memory box and it did bring back a lot of memories. I thought now would be a good time to share.  It is my Christmas card to you.  ~ May each of you be blessed to know and feel the miracle of Love that is Christmas, during this holiday season and always.

 

 Christmas Eve, a Year Ago

It was Christmas Eve, a year ago.
That was the year it didn’t snow.
What happened? Well, no one really knows.

The wind was calm, the night was clear,
though there was a fog out over the pier.
It was midnight when it happened and all was still;
everything but the house down the hill.

A child lay in bed, his fever high;
his mother, she thought he would surely die.
She blew out the candle in the window sill
and kneeling there she felt great fear,
for the end of her child’s life was growing near.

Aroused by the sound of the creaky floor,
through her teary eyes she looked to see
the figure of a gray old man dressed in red
hurriedly going out the door.

Looking toward her child in dread,
she saw him lift himself from bed.
Slowly she walked and then she ran
and grabbed the child’s cold, cold hand.

The fever had broken, the boy was well.
What happened?  Time may never tell.

~D~ & Regina

Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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One Little Decision

  • Posted on December 14, 2009 at 7:00 pm

I have been lying awake for what seems like hours…it is now early morning.  Thoughts of the past few months have been running rampant in my mind, keeping me from my sleep.  What a difference one little decision can make!  In mid August, after many, many years of emotional struggle and pain; I decided enough is enough.  I decided that I was going to be happy…period!  It was as simple as that!  It was MY choice.  No one else could do it for me.  It was up to ME.  My mind was made up. No one was going to bring me down.  No circumstance was going to change my mind. 

I will admit that it was very difficult at first.  I had lost my job as an office manager in June and had not been successful in finding work of any kind.  Relationships with friends and family were strained for various reasons.  Old patterns of thought and behaviors do not change easily.  But I was determined.   I began by submerging myself in positive thinking.  I found pages and pages of positive thinking quotations and I read them every morning – sometimes again during the day and even at night before falling asleep. I refused to think negative thoughts or be caught up in negative situations.  I read and re-read the book “The Secret” and anything else I could find online about the Law of Attraction.  The concept seems so basic now, but at that time…just a few months ago…it was such a timely revelation for me.  I set up an account with twitter and began “tweeting” positive quotes en masse everyday – with a very positive reception, I might add.  I soon found that the world was full of people who were just as hungry as I was for positive change in their lives.  My thinking at this point was two fold. Not only was tweeting a positive reinforcement for me, but I believed that anything positive I sent out would come back to me in some way. Soon, I began tweeting some of my own positive sayings or “snippets” as I have come to call them.  This is when I knew something was happening.  My thought patterns were changing and I began to believe things could be different.  

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Within weeks of my “one little decision”, a new way of life began to manifest for me.  The “heaviness” to which I had grown so accustomed over the years was beginning to lift.  I actually felt lighter physically.  My thinking was much clearer.  I felt happy!  For the first time I could remember, I honestly felt happy…from the inside out!   Then, blessings started to flow.  I was presented with several opportunities to travel with friends and spend weeks at my favorite place…the beach.  During this time, I began to look at the world thru different eyes.  Everything and Everyone was surrounded by sunshine…even me!   I remember sitting on the beach early one morning, waiting for the sun to rise.  The sky was full of clouds.  The tide was making its way in, but still revealed the many rocks that lined the shore.  The beach held footprints from me and a few others who had just that morning made their impression in the sand.  As I sat there and watched the sun rise over the ocean, it was as if it rose within me.  As the sun broke thru the clouds in the sky above me, I could feel it somehow break thru the clouds within me.  As the tide rose, it covered the rocks at the shoreline and I could see all the stumbling blocks in my path being swept away.  Then I watched as each wave of the ocean washed away a few more footprints in the sand leaving a welcome mat for fresh new impressions. I had just experienced the dawn of a new day…both in the world and within myself.  The sun and the ocean and the sand spoke to me that day.  It was calling me home and I was beginning to understand.  

Many wonderful things have happened since that day at the beach. I have shared much recently and I am certain that I will share more in the near future. I feel that sharing my experiences, both past and present, is what I AM to do at this point in my life.  In doing so I hope to somehow make fresh new impressions on the hearts of those who have decided that they too are ready for change; that enough is enough.  Oh, what a big difference “one little decision” truly can make.

Much Love and Many Blessings to each of you!  

~D~

Photo: Watching the Perfect Sunrise,
Palm Coast, FL ~ August 2009
Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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When…

  • Posted on December 8, 2009 at 10:06 am

When I felt all alone,
you held me close.

When I cried thru the night,
you wiped my tears.

When I fell all those times,
you picked me up.

When I could not go on,
you were my strength.

When I didn’t believe,
you gave me faith.

When I didn’t know how,
you showed me the way.

When I asked why,
you told me the truth.

When I let go of my past
you showed me my future

When I was ready to fly
you gave me my wings.

When I wanted to sing
you gave me a song.

When I gave you away
you came back to me.

When I asked who you were,
you showed me my heart.

~D~

Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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Dream’s Reality

  • Posted on December 6, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Take me to that dreaming place
where dreams are born to grow.
Where the rainbows dance
as the sunshine sings
of the things the heart does know.

Take me to that dreaming place
where I can touch the sky.
Where the tall trees smile
as the flowers blush
with each kiss of the butterfly.

Take me to that dreaming place
where we all are meant to be.
Where the light shines bright
as the Love we are
becomes dream’s reality.

~D~

Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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Feeling the Snow

  • Posted on December 5, 2009 at 12:25 pm

footprints steps crop 2From the back porch this morning I watch the snow as it quietly falls and adds to the white blanket that already covers the ground. The limbs of the trees are slightly bending with the weight of their new décor. Even this does not deter my faithful songbirds as they sing with excitement as if welcoming the unlikely visitor. The steps leading from the back porch are covered with a layer of the fluffy white powder. I descend them and feel the new season on my bare feet. At first there is a cold sting. Then, as my body adjusts, the sting is replaced by a strange warmth that begins to radiate from within. I stand at the bottom of the steps and feel the coolness of the breeze on my face. I take a deep cleansing breath, hold it for a moment and then slowly let it go. I am so awake and alive. I begin to dance in the snow just because I can. The smile I feel on the inside makes its way to the outside. Oh, how wonderful it is to be free! Oh, how wonderful it is to be me!

~D~

Photo: The Snowy Steps of My Footprints
Chattanooga, TN ~ December 2009
Copyright 2009 – Denise Gilreath ©

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