Forever in Relationship is something that I have struggled with for awhile now. My Heart and my head have had major battles over the topic. Having been married twice, I promised Forever twice. Both marriages ended in divorce. I have since had other relationships in which a promise of Forever was discussed, but those have also ended. Was a Forever Relationship really mine to promise? Was it fear that kept me from promising Forever again? Or was it fear that wanted a Forever promise?
I asked Spirit to shine a light on Forever and help me understand what it means for me on my path. Without sleep, I sat in the silence for hours and waited for my Truth to be illuminated. As the light of understanding began to come forth, I was reminded that I AM a Spiritual BEing having a Human Experience. I AM Love; born out of Love, into Love to BE Love. Love is the only thing that ever was, ever is or ever will be. I AM Forever…my Human Experience is not.
Love is the only constant. It is unconditional. There is nothing that will change what Love truly is. Relationships are conditional. They change based on circumstances, choices, personal growth, etc. My mind has tried to tell me that the two are the same, but Spirit has shown me that my Heart knows the difference. I can promise to Love Forever, because that is who I AM. I can promise to BE in Relationship right now in this moment, because Now is all that I have. I can not promise Forever in a Relationship, because it is not mine to promise.
It is my belief that as Humans, we want promises of Forever in Relationship because we are afraid. We are afraid of ourselves, we are afraid of our past, we are afraid of being alone, we are afraid of the unknown, we are afraid to trust, we are afraid to allow, we are just afraid…period. When we ask for or make a commitment of Forever in Relationship we do it out of fear. By doing so, we step out of the free flow of Love that comes from the Heart and we cross over into the control that the mind craves. The mind tells us that this control will calm our fears…and it does for a while. It calms them by burying them deeply beneath empty promises of Forever Relationships.
When we were born into this life experience, we did not know fear. We only knew Love. We craved it and accepted it from wherever and whomever it came. We lived from our Hearts, We lived in the Now. I am hungry, I will eat. I am sleepy, I will sleep. I am Love, I Love you. As our minds began to develop and become conditioned to our Humanness, we were slowly introduced to fear. Because of this fear, we allowed the voice in our head to drown out the voice in our Heart. I am hungry, but it is not meal time. I am sleepy but it is not dark outside. I Love you, but you do not love me.
As a result of conditioning, relationships have become more about control than about Love. Marriage is a perfect example of this. In my opinion, it is a legal arrangement that is meant to “protect” and “control” the parameters of the relationship. It dictates what is acceptable behavior for those involved. As I stated earlier, I have been married and divorced twice. I no longer believe in the institution of marriage. I do acknowledge that there are those individuals who truly feel that marriage is right for them, but it isn’t right for me. I do not fear commitment. I just don’t believe that I AM to commit myself and my life to another person in such a way as to limit my Life Experience. The freedom to follow my Heart is my birthright. For me, marriage is a forfiet of that birthright. I have been there and done that. I have no desire be legally bound to a person or a relationship. If my heart says go, I want the freedom to do so.
I do believe in relationships. I want relationships. I want an intimate relationship with someone special. Spirit has told me that I am not to walk this path alone. But that doesn’t mean that I am to make an empty promise of Forever. It means that I AM to follow my heart. I AM to walk the path of my Life Experience in the Forever Love that I AM and share that Forever Love with those who walk with me. I AM to recognize and honor divine connections. I AM to allow Relationships to grow and BEcome. I AM to accept relationships as they are now and as they will BE. I AM to do this by Loving those I AM in relationship with unconditionally; without demands, expectations, judgments or fear. I AM to allow them to BE all that they can BE.
My view of Forever extends far beyond the realtionships in my current Life Experience. With that being said, if I AM blessed with a realtionship that lasts for the remainder of this Life Experience, it will not be because I entered into a binding agreement or made a Forever promise out of fear. It will BE because I followed my Heart and allowed the beauty of the divine connection to unfold.
~D~
Photo: Our Southern California Garden ~ May 2010
Copyright 2010 – Denise Gilreath ©
Continue reading Forever in Relationship
As I sit here beneath the blues and whites and grays of another beautiful Sedona sky, I close my eyes and feel the freshness of a new wind blowing across my face and thru my hair. I hear the rustle of leaves as this new wind caresses the trees around me. I continue to listen and I hear a faint whisper in my ear, “I am the winds of change. Feel me. Allow me to refresh you. Breathe me in and know that all is well.” 
